HoLy AnGeL

2/8/05

2005-08-02T20:27:00.000+08:00

everydae in the morning juz after i woke up my heart will ache..... its been a long time nv happen b4 le..... i am so sad tat i lost my best fren.. 3 months later then can see him again.... even the girl i admire are kinda avoiding me...... wats going on... everydae when she and i r around i find it quite awkward... maybe is becos she knew i like her... yuan lai one sided love is so xin ku de.... hai~ i am juz tired..... maybe tats my fate.... my dreams wont come true.... i am kinda regret. maybe if she didnt know i like her things wont be in this state... if i had a chance i wish i wun be studying in nyp.... Hoping one day everything will start all over again......

monday

2005-07-25T23:49:00.000+08:00

3 days had past........ zai had been posted out to te kong... this few nites i don't have tat feeling tat i use to have it every nite.... the feeling is kinda weird...the feeling is like losing a best fren..... hope he can be back asap...

mum has financial problem... sigh -_-".... i gave her my this week holidae pocket money... hope she wont starve herself... as for me i think i left wif few coins to survive lol...... nvm since i no sch......

well... here i am alone again... only pc accompany me through out the dae.... everything is so bored... i find myself so restless..... i dun have the mood to play... this is not my dae

Life

2005-07-19T20:16:00.000+08:00

zai jin u can consider my best fren le... having u around will nv be bored... remember the daes we use to play soccor together in our ITE campus? U have the personally tat i admire... u fair to frens.. loyal... u wont leave ur fren alone when he/she is in danger... u will try your best to help them if they r in need... u r truely a good fren to have wif... too bad this friday 22 july u r going NS le... cant find u everynite to play DOTA wif me*sigh*... really miss the daes playing together wif u... i have to apologize tat i cant go out wif u to spend the rest of ur daes b4 NS.... cos of this stupid coming up quizes... anyway all the best for ur 2yrs training lol...

in life

2005-05-26T03:35:00.000+08:00

Life is about the process of finding love. In your one life, there will this 4 person.

The first person is yourself.

The second person is the one you love most.

The third person is the one who love you most.

The fourth person is the person who will accompany you for life.

Usually in life, you will meet the person you love most, first. Only then you will know the feeling of being in love.

After being in love, and knowing what is love, you will find the person who love you the most.

After you been thru both stages, and know how to love, then only you know who is the one you need. only then you will find the person who is most suitable for you and that is the person who will accompany you for life.

Sadly, all this 3 persons are usually different people.

The person you love most, did not choose you.

Yet you do not love the person who had love you the most.

And the one who accompany you for life, usually isnt the person who you love most of love you the most.

The person who accompany you for life is usally the person who is at the right place at the right time.

know more about guys

2005-05-04T17:13:00.000+08:00

1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.

2. Guys hate flirts.

3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.

4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.

5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have you eaten already?" are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.

6. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

7. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.

8. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

9. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.

10. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.

11. When guys want to meet your parents. Let them.

12. Guys want to tell you many things but they can't. And they sure have one habit to gain courage and spirit to tell you many things and it is drinking!

13. Guys cry!!!

14. Don't provoke the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will.

15. Guys can never dream and hope too much.

16. Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.

17. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.

18. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!.uh...never mind!" would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.

19. Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands.

20. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

21. When a guy makes a prolonged "umm" or makes any excuses when you're asking him to do you a favor, he's actually saying that he doesn't like you and he can't lay down the card for you.

22. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow."

23. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the
message clearly.

24. Guys hate gays!

25. Guys love their moms.

26. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.

27. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.

28 You can never understand him unless you listen to him.

29. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.

30. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.

31. Like Eve, girls are guys’ weaknesses.

32. Guys are very open about themselves.

33. It 's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let him wait that long.

34. No guy is bad when he is courting

35. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.

36. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that
much pretty.

37. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

38. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

39. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

40. A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.

41. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts.

42. Guys try to find the stuffed toy a girl wants but would unluckily
get the wrong one.

43. Guys virtually brag about anything.

44. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.

45. Guys think too much.

46. Guys' fantasies are unlimited.

47. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight doe s!

48. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!!!

49. When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would be hard for him to let go of that girl.

50. It's not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up especially when they've been together for 3 years or more.

51. You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting involved with that guy.

52. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be matured and grow up.

53. When an un likable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot more than girls do. They could even hurt themselves physically.

54. Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.

55. Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed pussycats with their girlfriends.

56. When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he's sweating. You'll probably see that he is nervous.

57. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.

58. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me"

59. Guys don't really have fin al decisions.

60. When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.

61. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him.

62. If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.

63. Guys believe that there's no such thing as love at first sight, but court the girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is wrong.

64. Guys like femininity not feebleness.

65. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.

66. A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure unless the girl tells him.

67. A guy would waste his time over video games and basketball, the way a girl would do over her romance novels and make-ups.

68. Guys love girls who can cook or bake.

69. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!

70. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

71. A guy's friend knows everything about him. Use this to your advantage.

72. Don't be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of rejection.

73. Don't be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you'll be surprised.

74. Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do more repelling than attracting guys.

75. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.

76. Guys don't comprehend the statement "Get lost" too well.

77. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions but still love them more.

78. When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he finds them offending and he just tried to be polite.

79. Guys don't care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.

80. Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know them, they'll realize they're wrong.

81. Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He's just too stubborn to deal with it.

82. Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears.

83. Guys' weakest point is at the knee.

84. When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is already thinking of a way out.

85. When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at fixing things.

86. When a guy looks at you, either he's amazed of you or he's criticizing you.

87. When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second chance, give it to him. But when you catch him again and he asks for another chance, ignore him.

88. If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.

89. If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at you and it obviously shows that he is jealous whenever you're with your boyfriend, all I can say is your boy best friend loves you more than your boyfriend does.

90. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.

91. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in front of you!

92. If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why.

93. When a guy says he can't sleep if he doesn't hear your voice even just for one night, hang up. He also tells that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun of you.

94. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.

95. Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.

96. Girls are allowed to touch boys' things. Not their hair!

97. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.

98. Guys hate girls who overreact.

99. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.

What I hope

2005-04-28T16:09:00.000+08:00

I hope in the future.. there is someone who can invent a time machine or a brain wash machine tat can clear away our memories... i juz wanted to start all over again.. I hope i got the money to travel around the world... i hope i can have a simple and peaceful life living near the beach... I hope i can own a dolphin... I hope i can taste on all the food around the world... i hope there is someone who cares and love me other than my mother...

*Its better to lose your pride to the one you love, than lose your loved one to your useless pride*

ahloha resort

2005-04-26T15:36:00.000+08:00

Monday 25 april 2005

My ITE mate had book a chalet at ahloha resort... its some sort of class gathering... so long nv see them le.. they have change alot... =) i finally got to see irene... lol... she was my buddy... hehe... and yes!! she was the one who sit beside me guiding me during my practical lesson... but sadly i dao her at the chalet... i was so bad... i dunno how come i dare not talk to her le... after tat we play dai di... sian~~ i must admit i dun have the talent to gamble... play 10 game.. 10 game lose... we decided to play another game... we went to cheers wanted to buy some alcoholic drinks... but sian... downtown east all shop close le... have to walk all the walk to 7 eleven... damn the weather is damn hot... even doh it was at nite... we bought black cat and absolute vodka... both containing 40% of alcohol and bought sprite and oranges drink for mixture... we went back and ahzai decided tat we each person fill the cup wif some alcohol... so total there were 6 cup full wif black cat and vodka... and there were 6 poker cards... from 1 - 6... so exmaple if u have choosen the card wif number 1... u have to finish the cup wif the number 1 position... u have to keep choosing till u have choosen an empty cup then u can pass on the cards to the one beside u for him to play... i was so suay all kanna... my whole body was like burning... damn drunk.. i cant even stand up.. my fren told me i was laughing all the way when i am drunk... kinda high lol... next morning which is today my head hurts alot...

I don't know

2005-04-20T14:42:00.000+08:00

WhAtS RiGhT & WhAtS WrOnG?
WhAtS LoVe & WhAtS HaTrEd?
WhAtS TrUtH & WhAtS LiEs?
WhAtS ReAl & WhAtS ViRtUaL?
WhAtS SoLiD & WhAtS IlLuSiOn?

interesting

2005-04-19T10:41:00.000+08:00

Click to see!!!

Tong hua
story
secretly
love story
Dance

stars in the heaven

2005-04-17T20:24:00.000+08:00

the stars upon the heaven
is twinkling just for you
i dun know, but i believe...
if you seek out for a star,
and hold on to the end,
these dreams will be made believed.
Close you eyes and you shall see,
that Dreams can become reality.
theres no mountain,
too high to climb,
no river too wide to cross
Hold all your fears,
if you can,
I wish you could cast them on me
Your dreams shall fly,
as high as souls can fly,
where clouds roll by,
for you and I........

unforgetable memories

2005-04-15T02:38:00.000+08:00

Age 5

food poisoning cause of eating expiry sour plum....

Age 6
always fail spelling... remember got one time i failed again and my teacher was really mad... and she use her metal rule to hit my head... and my head actually bleed alot... sad thing is she actually lied infront of me telling my father tat no such thing happen....she always teach us not to lie... but hai~... at tat time i am really confuse

learn my 1st vulgar language from my father....i dunno wat it means... and i juz repeat wat my father had juz said.. and i end up got beaten up

Age 7
11 - 12 dismiss sch... always find myself alone at home... have to wait till 6+ for my parent to come home... use to look out of window to look for my father when i am alone...

Age 8
i am in the afternoon session... after sch i am always very happy... cos my father always come to fetch me home :)

Age 9
my father brought me to a christian child care... found myself lots of frens there :)..

Age 10
use to go play ground wif my neighbour richard... who is also my classmate... it was fun... we use to play block catching... hide and seek... blind man... enjoy myself there :)

Age 11
got into EM3... after tat everything has change... richard's parent was kinda dislike me... they keep on telling him not to stick wif me too much... got one time when i went to visit him... i heard something unpleasent... his mother say tat EM3 student only know how to play.... my heart hurts alot..

teacher bias... frens from EM2 stream look down on us... i still remember the words they use... "bu yao ken EM3 de ren wan"(dun play wif EM3 ppl)

Age 12
was my 1st time staying over nite outside in the play ground wif my fren... fallen in love wif the stars above the skys... it look so beautiful...

Age 13
always go arcade wif my group of frens...

Age 14
i am in the st john uniform group... i remember got one time selling flag.. was damn funny... i was there keeping on chasing after ppl for donation... is like i can from one block follow tat person to another block... then they cant tahan... then donate lor... lol... juz for tat few cent i actually did tat... :X

Age 15
i dunno how come teacher always bias us... juz becos we r from NT... everytime got wat smoking case, stealing case, gang fight... principle and discipline mdm always come to our class 1st... wif a big cane.. -_-"

Age 16
i met a girl name stella... she was sweet... find her kinda special... chat wif her often on the phone... started to go steady after 5 months... around oct

Age 17
she bake cake for me during my birthdae and give me a heart shape bottle full of paper hearts inside....i was kinda touch... she was always there when i am down... when i am sick she will buy medicine for me... when i am bored she will chat wif me or play wif me online... :) we went to lots of places... really enjoy it

in ITE during my 1st VB prac lesson i was like totally a dummy... lucky there was this ger who sat beside me teaches me step by step... luckily she is always beside me... if not my programming sure cant make it de....

Age 18
brought stella to beach to catch crabs... i caught quite alot of dancing crab for her... :)

Age 19
she broke off wif me... on may 04... kinda sad... my heart cried for months.. and i juz lost the mood to do anything...

think b4 u act

2005-04-02T23:41:00.000+08:00

When we react to life from the head without joining forces with the heart, it can lead us into childish, inelegant behavior that we don't respect in ourselves. If we get the head in sync with the heart first, we have the power of their teamwork working for us and we can make the changes we know we need to make.

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.

Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling five balls in the air. You name them - work, family, health, friends, and spirit - and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls - family, health, friends, and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.

Your life lies before you like a path of driven snow, be careful how you tread it cause every step will show.

So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.

Learn to get in touch with silence within yourself, and know that everything in this life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.

Life does not accomodate you, it shatters you. It is meant to, and it couldn't do it better. Every seed destroys its container or else there would be no fruition.

For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin — real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way. Something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.

close ur eyes

2005-04-01T22:44:00.000+08:00

Close your eyes and you will see clearly,cease to listen and you will hear truth, be silent and your heart will sing, seek no contacts and you will find union, be still and you will move forward on the tide of spirit, be gentle and you will need no strength, be patient and you will achieve all things, be humble and you will remain entire.

The trouble with being number one in the world - in anything - is that it takes a certain mentality to attain that position, and that is something of a driving, perfectionist attitude, so that once you do achieve number one, you don't relax and enjoy it.

Respect your fellow human being, treat them fairly, disagree with them honestly, enjoy their friendship, explore your thoughts about one another candidly, work together for a common goal and help one another achieve it.

You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand.

Most people give up just when they're about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game, one foot from a winning touchdown.

Remember you will not always win. Some days, the most resourceful individual will taste defeat. But there is, in this case, always tomorrow - after you have done your best to achieve success today.

Love is as much of an object as an obsession, everybody wants it everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it, those who do, will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, will never...never forget it.

Friday 18 March 2005

2005-03-18T20:27:00.000+08:00

An afternoon of talking and laughing
The sound of the clock has stopped all along
The sound of the wind is quietly lying, enticing
I am by myself in the corner again
The me who doesn't have you with me
Even loneliness laughs at me for being too degenerative

life

2005-03-08T22:37:00.000+08:00

Life is only black and white... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~~ I dun wanna be alone at home~~~~~ i wan to play everyday... I wan to go out everyday.... I wan to do wat i wanted to do... I want her to like me.... I wan to be the happiest person in the world... I wan lots of frens... I wan to be talkative... I wan everybody to care for me... i wan a big bro or sis to take care of me and protect me.... i wan to be secure.. I wan someone to be there for me when i am down... I wan to be a good programmer... I hope everyone knows when is my birthday.... I dun wanna be left out... I HATE JUNHAO

tired

2005-03-01T23:48:00.000+08:00

IF I HAVE A WISH... I WISH I CAN DIE INSTANTLY....

Suicide Percentages %

sleeping pills - 60%
cut myself to bleed to death - 22%
Stabbing myself - 8%
Drink toxic drinks - 8%
jumping off the building - 2%

Wake up

2005-02-28T22:49:00.000+08:00

JunHao~~~~ JunHaooo~~~ WAKE UP..... stop dreaming.... face the reality.... there are lots of things waiting for ya... dun always hide urself in the dark.... go and socialize more wif ppl... Stop being so restless... i know how u feel... cos i am ur inner self... cant anything cheer ya up??? I know u had lost faith in everything around ya.... yes!!! u might been hurt badly... but hey... past is past... STOP keeping everything to urself... things can be solve... cheer up dude!!!...

Aries

2005-02-25T23:43:00.000+08:00

ARIES MARCH 21 – APRIL 20

Nothing seems to ruffle you more than a lack of discipline, disloyalty and decorum. But Arians are also known to go into a rage very easily when challenged. Those of you who have been on the receiving end of the Aries temper know that if not calmed down they can even get violent. But one thing is certain if the opponent remains calm and does not react to their outburst, Arians cool down very fast. They are also the first to apologies, which makes them easier to forgive.

have faith

2005-02-25T23:16:00.000+08:00

Your presence is a present to the world
You're unique and one of a kind
Your life can be what you want it to be
Take the days just one at a time.

Count your blessings, not your troubles
You'll make it through whatever comes along
Within you are so many answers
Understand, have courage, be strong.

Don't put limits on yourself
So many dreams are waiting to be realized
Decisions are to important to leave to chance
Reach for your peak, your goal, your prize.

Nothing wastes more energy than worrying
The longer one carries a problem
The heavier it gets
Don't take things too seriously
Live a life of serenity
Not a life of regrets.

Remember that a little love goes a long way
Remember that a lot goes forever
Remember that friendship is a wise investment
Life's treasures are people together.

Realize that it is never too late
Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way
Have health, hope, and happiness
Take the time to wish upon a star.

And don't ever forget
For even a day
How very special you are.

I am here for a purpose

2005-02-24T22:17:00.000+08:00

Sometimes people come into your life and you

know right away that they were meant to be there.

To serve some sort of purpose, to teach you a lesson, or

to help you figure out who you are or who you might want to become.

You never know who these people may be...possibly your roommate, neighbor,

co-worker, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger...

you know at the moment they will affect your life in some profound way.

Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first,

but in reflection you find that without overcoming these obstacles,

you would have never realized your potential, your strength, your willpower or heart.

Everything happens for a reason.

Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck.

Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity

all occur to test the limits of your soul.

Without these small tests, whatever they may be,

life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere.

It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls

you experience, help to create who you are and who you become.

Even the bad experiences can be learned from.

In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them,

for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious

when you open your heart.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you,

but because in a way they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes.

Make everyday count.

Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything

that you possible can, for you may never to experience it again.

Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen.

Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high.

Hold you head up because you have every right to.

Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself,

for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.

You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life,

then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.

guardian angel

2005-02-22T23:37:00.000+08:00

This is my new blog skin... nice ma??? the gal holding a knife with blood stain on it was my guardian angel... i adopted her since yesterday... she has a unique personality... she is emotionless , cool , adorable... she only feast on human beings... so beware... pls do not make fun of her... i cant save ya...

suffering

2005-02-18T21:19:00.000+08:00

This few daes i have been suffering from major headache... lost of appetite... lost of interest... and tat lead to being more and more anti-social... i also have nite mares which i dream of all the java coding... DCN theory... math formula... i am so tired... feel like switching off

beach time

2005-02-13T22:19:00.000+08:00

early in the morning i woke up and got prepared to go to pasir ris beach for a walk... set off at 11am... brought my DCN and java book along.... kinda excited... cos i am going wif me, myself and junhao... we reach there at about 12pm... its a bright sunny dae and i cant find a quiet place at the beach for me to settle down... cos hor there are lots of malays having panic over there....hmmmm.... it took me about an hour to explore the park... and finally found a place.... so i was there listening to my mp3 and talking to myself... i like the sea wave sound... it sounds so great.. the breeze is so great too... i spend about 2 hr to think through wat i have done over the past few years.... hmmm... shall not mention... after tat i read through my DCN book... manage to finish the whole book... and i think i understand it lolx.... got a headache... so i pack up and walk all the way from one end of the park to the other end... cos only tat place got bus home.... took bus 53 to kovan and wanted to print some photos wif my RS-mmc card... but hor the lady say my card too small le... need a adapter in order to connect to tat machine....so bo bian... i walk home lor... reach home at 6pm... took a bath and went to nap.... after tat had to start wif my DCN proj.... gtg... ciao

happy

2005-02-13T01:16:00.000+08:00

today i meet up my ITE mates together and we went to our favourite teacher house to bai nian.... he was my DCN teacher last time... yeah... i like his teaching method alot alot alot... as in he is really a very good teacher... his lesson is always so interesting... he like to crap wif us alot... during his lesson u can hardly find me slping... as in he got his own way to keep us awake... wah~~~ think back hor... I find ITE life are very carefree.. we can request for a break if we r hungry or tired... wahaha... so fun... then i always use to play soccer wif my classmates during my break... come back class all so sweaty and stinky....lol...i still cant forget the scene lolx.... today i had lots of fun at his house... i am there keep on laughing non stop lo... cos they r really very funny lol... ya... after tat i rush down to my mei mei house to study... too rush le... until i have to run and eat my dinner at the same time... arggg... her mama very frenly wor... have a great time there hehe :)... oh ya... tml hor i am going to go beach to relieve myself... cos too much problem happening le.... need to go there walk walk..... maybe will be staying there from 1pm to 8pm... ahhhhhhh~~~~ gtg slp le... tired... sweet dreams

schedule

2005-02-11T21:10:00.000+08:00

I dunno when will my own fairy tale story will come true~~~ everyday every nite only know how to day dream... lolx.. tat is one of my hobbies too lolx. i juz find it very very impossible to win her heart... and i think i am letting her go... yeah... i am sure one day my fate will come... it is juz not the time yet... as for now i think i am getting more and more cold blooded le... as in dun have any feelings for anything... maybe got numb le ba... I can tell u honestly i dun like to study... and i prefer ppl to teach me than i teach others... i am also not the hard working type... i always force myself to do things which i dun like.... i also have a big problem tat is always being so quiet...but I use to be very very talkative in my old daes... and my happiest moment was during my primary 3 - 6 having lots of fun in a child care centre which was also a christian church.... i can feel tat warmness when i am there... down there was juz like a paradise... have lots of joy and laughter... but now things have change le... and each dae is getting weaker and weaker..................................................................

where r u

2005-02-10T23:28:00.000+08:00

Where Are You My AnGeL... where were u when i needed u badly... my sorrow and hatred are going to unleash out... i cant hold it any longer... pls help me...

kiss by an angel

2005-02-09T19:01:00.000+08:00

this morning got waken up by my mama.... so early sia... cos she say muz go ah ma house bai nian... most of my cousin was there... they were so cute... very obedient too... like them alot... there is this cute little boy... who is 5 yrs old only... very cute... he was there telling us not to eat too much titbits as we were eating alot... but he was the one eating the most... lolx... after a few hrs we went home cos mama need to prepare for another reunion dinner at my house... so we went home... actually tot of slping cos really too tired le... but in the end i end up watching "my date with a vampire 3"... cos the story line was really very touching... watch for 2 hrs and my cousin came le.... and tat cute little boy say he want my ps2 console... he was using tat cute look wif tat innocent eye trying to hypnotize me..and he succeeded -_-". the hypnotism was too strong le... i admit defeated... so agree to give him my console for him to bring home... and he came towards me N thank me wif a kiss... so sweet... a kiss for an exchange... i find it quite worth it...kakaka... little ones r so adorable... :)

take a look at me now

2005-02-09T15:05:00.000+08:00

How can I just let you walk away, just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath with you, ooh
You're the only one who really knew me at all

How can you just walk away from me,
When all I can do is watch you leave
Cos we've shared the laughter and the pain and even shared the tears
You're the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now, oh there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
Just the memory of your face
Ooh take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against all odds and that's what I've got to face

I wish I could just make you turn around,
Turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you,
So many reasons why
You're the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face
Now take a look at me now, cos there's just an empty space

But to wait for you, is all I can do and that's what I've got to face
Take a good look at me now, cos I'll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
It's the chance I've gotta take

Take a look at me now

funny

2005-02-07T23:59:00.000+08:00

today i had a great time hanging out wif my frens although i had muscle aching... well mite be due to yesterdae exercises... some times i juz find it very funny... we only think tat others r bad when they did something wrong... but did we ever ask our self whether we r really tat good to judge others... dun try to tell me u r the perfect one... cos no one is perfect in this world... I find it very funny knowing tat wat we call true fren can actually make fun of us.... knowing wat was wrong but keep repeating it.... i juz felt numb... well maybe i should not be here in the 1st place....

sorry

2005-02-06T23:59:00.000+08:00

i have think through le... i think i am also in the wrong... sorry to the one i hurt... as u know ppl will have anger... and anger tends to lead to mistake... when i am angry i tend to say things without using my brains... all this is so call "Qi Hua" in chinese... well... i really didnt mean anything... juz trying to vent my anger on something to relief myself... next time if anyone feels tat i am in the wrong pls confront me and correct me... and i will appreciate it alot :) ...

haha

2005-02-05T23:59:00.000+08:00

this afternoon i meet up my fren in qeenstown... planning to go queensway to window shopping... cos my fren wan buy new year clothes ma... so pei him lor... he is kinda stress on something... ask him wat happen... he juz smile and say nothing *hope every thing goes fine*... after he bought wat he wans.. we head to bugis cos still too early... he and i dun wanna go home so fast. we went there walk walk..then he bring me to a dunno wat shop and he ask for my opinion on wat gift to buy for the ger he likes on valentine day.. well i dun have any idea so i kept quiet hehe... he was eyeing on the bouquet of roses wif a teddy bear on top hehe.. haha but in the end he didnt buy it....after tat we had our dinner juz down stairs of simlim square... and i ordered a black pepper steak... oh gosh... they gif me the steak so bloody de.. then my fren was there laughing... -_-"....haha had a great time there... its nice to have him around... as in he treat fren very good... we planning to go out again on 8 feb... waiting for tat day to come hehe...

*I must admit u r good in creating stories... :) since u r so good u can say wat u wan... i wont give it a damn... ppl out there u can choose to believe wat he says... haha... thanks for letting me know there is still such person exist.... claiming others as a backstabber who himself is one too...hahaha... hey bro... next time b4 u do anything pls put urslf in other ppl shoes.... u might think ur criticism was funny...*

demoralize

2005-02-04T20:37:00.000+08:00

today went to sch got criticize by tat freak early in the morning... damn him... next time pls use ur brain b4 saying anything.... u tot tat is funny... damn u... yeah u was telling them i wun give a shit to anyone who wants to know the asp coding... and wat makes u think tat way... damn u.... anyway i am older then u... u didnt even give me any face or respect... u juz say nasty things about me loudly... U juz spoil my mood today... darn u... anyway... i wont give it a damn to wat u do next time... u this type of person juz not worth to get along with...

*good frens r hard to find. I juz realise tat frens only care for themselve.once they get wat they wan they wont bother about u.*

wat r frens for

2005-02-03T22:42:00.000+08:00

this morning meet up est , mei mei , jia hui and dickson to study our OOPJV quiz... I have a great time there... *hope they understands wat i am teaching* hehe.... hmmm the quiz kinda tricky.... i have miss out one qn which carry 10 marks.... gosh.... but its ok... at lease i know wat OOPJV is all about... :) .... after tat during DCN tut lesson we got back our test paper... i did not score full marks... arggg... but nvm i have learn from my mistake le.... at lease i have gain some knowledge hehe... after sch... me est and dickson stay back to learn our ASP.net for tml test... we met colin, gee , jeslyn and jamie in the lab... something happen in the lab and i dun wish to mention it... i juz find tat WHY when i need help tat time the one who can help dun wanna help.... i juz wonder... if one dae i am in trouble... will i have frens who will help me out???

about me

2005-02-02T23:59:00.000+08:00

My Past:
well today i am gonna blog about myself when i am young.... i was bless wif a didi when i am 3 yr old... we get along quite well till i reaches 5yrs old... we started to part.... :(... i dun have a proper home... cos i was staying at my aunt house till i was 7yr old... can u imagine living in a place without my parent and didi for 2 yrs.... i dunno y my parent made this decision... maybe they have their own reason... although i was young at tat time but i still miss my family... only my father came to visit me once a week... when i was 7yr old which should be in primary one... i finally have a chance to move back to my own house... but so wat.... I was always alone at home after school.... only can see my dad and mom at nite.... everynite they return home i was so happy... hoping they can entertain me... but they were always busy watching television.... then u might ask... i tot u got a didi.... yes i did had a didi.... but he was staying at my ah ma house for dunno wat reason... i only can see him during weekends.... during my childhood days i was feeling insecure.... lonely... scared of staying at home alone.... I had lost tat kind of warmness... tat kind parent should gif their children....

admire

2005-02-01T23:59:00.000+08:00

this morning as usual meet estrella and jamie at the bus stop.... then heard about something which i find her very wei da.... wah~~~ i was there keep on asking myself if i were her will i help the lady? if i saw handicap ppl will i lent a hand to help them? well... maybe one day if i met one i will know.... wah... I juz find it very very rare to see such ppl in my life.... she is so kind.... (@_@)....

hai~~~

2005-01-31T23:59:00.000+08:00

today during DCN lec something happen... and tat hurts me alot.... I didnt boost anything OK... dun ever say i act clever... I know i am not... but i am keen to learn... y must u all be so sarcastic..... fine lo.... i can only say tat u r not worth to be my fren... tats all...

sometimes i juz dunno wat i wan... everything is so SIAN....

gestric

2005-01-27T23:59:00.000+08:00

today went to sch early to study DCN wif estrella... then met amanda and jia hui at FJ... lol.... had a great time teaching them and torturing them... lol...i am kinda strict doh... :) ... after tat math lec... sian 1/4... teacher was teaching himself again... i got alot of ??????.... next was java.... hehe i think i am falling in love wif java... quite interesting.... but too bad i am not tat hard working type... miss phoon made me blurr sia.... wat true is false... false is true... true might not be true... i was there feeling lost... -_-" sometimes codings r hard to understand... after tat DCN quiz.... i am excited over it cos i have put in effort in learning it... i wan score full marks... although i know marks r not important... but tat kind of feeling only me myself knows it lol.... tat paper is neither hard nor easy... lol... hmmm after quiz we continue to have our DCN lesson... the cher explain very well... :) i finally understand wat is ASK FSK and PSK le whahaha... after sch my ke ai de mei mei amanda teaches me,jia hui,estrella,dickson and jian shen math... i was kinda left out sia..... mei mei ah~~~ 6.15pm... i rush to meet my fren for kick boxing... got a bad gestric sia... then todays training was like hell... now whole body aching le la... dun have the mood to study math at home le... cos so tired... hope tml i can pass math... :S
going to slp le... happy birthdae amanda... 18 le... my fav age...ahhhh.. mei mei got so many fren gif her birthdae present... i also wan.... nvm i will make as many frens as possible b4 my birthdae... so tat i can receive as much present as she do wahahaha....

lonely man

2005-01-25T23:45:00.000+08:00

Feeling like a man without a soul... a bird without his wings...a heart without a home... feeling like a night without the stars.... the sky without the sun... coz u r the one... feeling like a ship beneath the wave... a child has lost his way... a door without a key.... a phrase without a name.... feeling like a breathe without the air...and everyday is the same... cos u had gone away... tell me can a man lost his mind living in the pain... recalling times gone by... crying in the rain..... things r not the same again........................

breathing

2005-01-25T21:33:00.000+08:00

B-r-e-a-t-h-i-n-g.... filling all my skin... ur b-r-e-a-t-h-i-n-g... fall into ur arms again... spread my wings and fly... hold my hand i fly....feels like summer breeze...when ur b-r-e-a-t-h-i-n-g.... everytime i close my eyes... when the stars begin to rise...i feel like i could fly... ur the reason y... when i need u wif me when i am drowning in the sea... the colours fades to grey... u wash it all away... morning sun ur the one... deep within... i hear u b-r-e-a-t-h-i-n-g....

learn something

2005-01-24T23:00:00.000+08:00

I had learn to see things in different views... sometimes our heart can see clearly... I have to let things go also... not mine de no matter how hard i try it wont be mine... I have to apologise if i am in the wrong.... I have to be understanding... have to think b4 i act... have to help others if they need help... have to talk more... have to treasure everything around me... cos i know i am not lonely after all... cos everynite there is a star up above the sky watching me... keeping me company... :)

happy

2005-01-18T21:44:00.000+08:00

today i am so happy..... hehe... although u r attached... but we can still be good frens rite... :) ur presence bring me joy... brighten my life... juz hope tat everydae is today... i am juz like a tv... and u r the remote control... u can switch my mood whenever u like... and tat sounds scary... lol...

damn

2005-01-17T23:58:00.000+08:00

damn... today i cant even absorb every single lecturers lesson... i cant concentrate on my studies... gosh... my mind was like totally blank...i dunno wat am i doing also...juz cant control myself... sorry i am not trying to be dao ... juz dun have the mood to talk...sorry everybody... i didnt mean it...

haha

2005-01-15T22:58:00.000+08:00

i was hurt by u once again... and this was a great one.... congrat... u have found ya happiness... it was my own one sided love tat hurts me so much... now tat u r gone... i cant find anything tat can brighten up my daes... anyway... its nice to have ya around.... i am also happy to have u as my fren.... but now i dunno how to face ya everydae... cos it hurts me alot.... sorry.......

sad7

2005-01-11T19:11:00.000+08:00

I want to stay in my dream 4ever... Dreams r better than Reality... Y i only can get my happiness in my dreams... Y not in reality... I juz wanna SLP for a LONG TIME... dun feel like waking up... I heck care everything........... nothing bothers me............

sad5

2005-01-11T19:07:00.000+08:00

I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise I am feeling very miserable... can u pls take me to ur paradise

sad4

2005-01-11T19:05:00.000+08:00

Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!! Can U you take my life away!!!

sad3

2005-01-11T19:04:00.000+08:00

I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World I Hate This World

sad2

2005-01-11T19:02:00.000+08:00

I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless I am so Useless

sad1

2005-01-11T19:01:00.000+08:00

I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself I Hate Myself

sad

2005-01-11T18:59:00.000+08:00

Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost Lost

cant control

2005-01-07T22:21:00.000+08:00

It was my secret: my heart's surprise
but, I can't control it when I look into your eyes.
I don't understand how this can be...
these feelings aren't supposed to happen to me.

I'm falling too hard, too fast
I guess I didn't learn from my past.
It happened before,
I'm not supposed to love anymore.

But when I'm with you... time stands still
and it seems like no one else is around.
My heart is screaming your name
with every beat, every pound.

Once again my heart is controlling my brain,
and when I'm not with you I go insane.
It all seems too good to be true,
but I don't care- I'm falling for you.

do anything

2005-01-06T22:13:00.000+08:00

I would do anything
To see your beautiful face
And your precious smile.
Anything!

I would do anything
To hold you close to me
And feel our hearts beat as one
As mine skips a beat!

I would do anything
To hear your gentle voice
And taste your sweet kiss.
You take my breath away!

I would do anything
Just to be with you
Because, girl,
I love you with all my heart and soul!

wondering

2005-01-05T21:15:00.000+08:00

Everyday I try really hard
to get her attention,
but no matter what I do,
I'm left with that same question...

Does she notice me?

When I look at her I see
an attractive, adorable gal.
I can't help but wonder
and ask myself with a sigh...

When she looks at me, what does she see?

I'm so excited when I see her
and I'm determined to talk to her
But somehow I get nervous
and the chance passes me by.

How many chances do I get?

I sit and daydream about
the life we could have together.
If only she knew I existed,
then she could be mine forever.

When will my dreams come true?

Just one little smile
is all I would need
to ease the hurt
in my heart that bleeds.

Will I ever win her heart?

Every night I wish
that someday she will be mine.
I guess I'm just waiting
for something above the sky
to give me a sign.

Will she ever be mine?

happy

2005-01-04T23:20:00.000+08:00

Yeah~~~ today i am kinda happy... lol yeah~~~ hmmm now i am learning how to make roses... kinda hard sia... still struggling... hope one dae i can master it... argG~~~ I cant resist ya charm.... chatting wif ya always bring me joy... :)

depress

2005-01-03T23:23:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i really wanted to be alone... dun feel like seeing anyone in my sight... dun feel like talking to anybody... dun feel like doing anything... all r so tirng... I dun feel like studying... dun feel like going to sch... dun feel like having any new frens... i hope i dun have any emotional feelings... I dun WANNA FALL IN LOVE... Y must u make me trip... y do i know u in the 1st place... Y must i have all the sad memories keep on poping out from my mind... How come i have the ability to FORMAT computers yet cant FORMAT myself... IS MONEY really very important... y r they always quarreling over some useless PAPERS...

lovable gal

2005-01-02T22:37:00.001+08:00

Want to have a helicopter
Want to fly to the universe with you
Want to melt together with you
Melt into the Milky Way

Each day thinking of you
This kind of sweetness
Lets me start to believe in fate
Grateful for the terrestrial gravity for
Letting me meet you

This lovable woman
that's so beautiful that makes me blush
so mild that makes me heartache
so transparent that makes me feel moved
so bad that makes me go crazy

The world is So~ big and I am only a small, small, small ant
But I have to use all my strength to protect you

lovable gal

2005-01-02T22:37:00.000+08:00

no more tears

2004-12-31T23:16:00.000+08:00

I often wish I could fly
every time she begins to cry
I'd take her to a magic place
that crafts a smile upon her face
A land where birds fill up the air
and flowers blossom everywhere

There we'd lie beneath a tree,
upon a hill, beside the sea
A gentle breeze would kiss our skin
as if a reminder to begin.....

Then our lips would touch and melt
into a love no one has felt
Treading through heavenly lust
within her soul my feelings thrust
Bringing pleasure to the pain
as our hearts burst into flame...

With the sun about to fade
upon this place we have made
Only happiness exists
within a magnitude of bliss

Now total darkness fills the land
which prompts her, to hold my hand
The moon and stars are shinning bright
to offer us a perfect night
So, as we fly back to before
I tell her, "You will cry no more.
For, that place stays not just there,
you carry it with you, everywhere."

stars

2004-12-30T20:30:00.000+08:00

Through the clouds
and beyond the stars,
My thoughts of you
seem so far.
I feel so close
yet, you are miles away,
Beyond my touch
is where you stay.
I try to jump
but can't get that high,
You drift up close
towards the ongoing sky.
Out of my reach
and far from my sight,
Until all that is left of you
is one burning light.
A star in the sky
is what you now are to me,
The farthest one
for me to see.
So, I make a wish
on this shining star,
That you will always think of me
Beyond this distance that is so far.

always

2004-12-30T02:40:00.000+08:00

Always remember to forget
The things that made you sad
But don't forget to remember
The things that made you glad

Always remember to forget
The people that proved they are untrue
But never forget to remember
Those who stuck by you

Always remember to forget
The bad things that happen each day
But don't forget to remember
Some things don't go your way

Always remember to forget
Those harsh words someone said to you
But don't forget to remember
They really didn't mean too

Always remember to forget
Your troubles and your fears
But don't forget to remember
All your happy and joyful tears

Always remember to forget
Mean things I said to you
But don't forget to remember
That I still love you!

questions about me

2004-12-28T19:38:00.000+08:00

Questions

1. Why are you always so quiet?

reason 1: Depressed

reason 2: Being left out

reason 3: Shy

2. How come ppl talk to u.. u wont reply

reason: not tat i am dao... i am dpressed

3. Are you afraid of being alone?

nah.. i am used to it le..

4. Do you share your feeling your thoughts with others?

nobody knows... I wanted to share.. but there is no one to listen..

5. What is the best word that describes u?

Lost

6. What do u think ppl will think of u as?

arrogant, boring, sly...

7. What is your greatest fear?

knowing things tat i dun wish to know...

8. When you have troubles who do u find?

Myself

9. If u can have 3 wishes granted! wat is the 3?

1. be wif the one i love 4ever nv part

2. have the ability to fly

3. have the ability to make everyone happy

A Picture is Worth a 1,000 Words

2004-12-27T22:41:00.000+08:00

Time goes by,
Only memories remain.
Happiness, laughter, tears and pain have all become the same.
Pictures shut up in an album,
Like a treasure locked away.
Nobody could've guessed how things would've ended up, or the course life was going to take.
Someday the locks will be opened.
One day the past will be today.
That which has shaped a human being will touch another, and bring a smile to their face.

tear

2004-12-27T01:12:00.000+08:00

If you were a tear in the rain pouring
Down on me I'd be standing there
And let you wash away my fears
If you were a tear glimmering in my soul
I'd not hold you back I'd let you take control

If you were a tear in the wind ever blowing
My hair and in my face I'd breathe you in
So you'll fill me up and be a part of me
It's love in a tear anyone can see and feel
Cause together we are one and meant to be

If you were a tear running down my cheek
I'd neither let you stop nor let you go

You are a release form the hurt so to speak
At last Feeling free to live the life we seek
Loving and living life, giving endlessly
Just you and me forever in harmony

sad

2004-12-26T01:35:00.000+08:00

Saturdae nite i have a gathering at marina south wif my secondary sch mates... well i was kinda excited at first.. 3 yrs nv see them le wonder how they do and how they look like.. they all r well build.. guys look man to me.. and the gers r like wah~~ like fairy sia... hai~~ sad to say my guy fren r so sarcastic...they even embarrass me infront of everyone.... I felt ashamed to have them around... i have been thinking hard~~ *am i in the right world* cos i dun seems to have the interest in doing anything now.. cant believe 3 yrs later they r still so sarcastic.. i dun feel like hanging out wif them and talking wif them.. so sickening... lifes r getting more tiring.. to me living in this world now is like living in a deserted place alone.... it makes no different.... up to now i still cant find any point of living........ I HATE MYSELF

kung fu

2004-12-23T22:30:00.000+08:00

MATH!!!! oh~ my... i dunno this time round my math can score well anot wif this lecturer... most of the time he was there talking unrelated topic -_-".. think have to study on my own le...then todaes java lesson not bad... i have learn new things... weiling was still struggling lol... hope she can make it haha... tat ger ah realli need to practice more... java quite hard... so muz put in more effort... i am so touch... she gave me present...so happy about it... thanks man... :) wah~~~ so long le... in fact all this yrs none of my frens gave me any presents b4.... stephen chow damn funny... fung fu wrestle... very nice show... muz watch... quite touching also... tml i will be hanging outside like a liu lang han... wif collin... lol... then sat i will be meeting my long lost secondary sch frens... :S... all pai kai type... siao liao lol...so long nv see them le... about 3yr ba i think...

sad

2004-12-18T13:36:00.000+08:00

hai~~ i have finally free from my work... but i am not happy about it... miss them... i dun like this kind of feeling... i have been wif them for quite a couple of weeks le... then now have to part... it hurts me alot... infront of them i was like acting nothing happening... but actually i miss them alot.. just cant show it... i miss the daes crapping wif them... i miss the daes my bro and I walk back home at night after work... i am happy they shared their feeling wif me :) I understand how they feel... hai~~~ next time i work must work for the rest of my life le... i dun like tat kind of parting feeling... felt very uncomfortable... i have to thanks ah seng , ah meng, ah xiang , wang hong and annie for teaching me alot of things there... u all have been taking care of me since i was there... :)... i miss u all... if i got time i sure go there visit u all again..

angry

2004-11-29T22:29:00.000+08:00

idiot idiot idiot.... damn the supervisor and some of the workers there.... ARGG~ Y must they bully ah meng.... he is so poor thing... see him quite ke lian... HEY dun bully ok... not much educated doesn't mean u can bully.... i HATE those who look down on them... u tot u all clever ah~~~ clever so wat... BIG meh... IDIOT... put urself in their shoe la.... see how it feel... not much educated doesn't mean they r stupid... i heard from my bro tat ah meng last time work in one company more jialet.... one month only gif him $100.... somemore the boss keep on calling him stupid... call him go work as a toilet cleaner... PLS dun see ppl gd to bully then keep on bully bully bully... then now work in this current company.. they also bully him.... IDIOT...

2004-11-28T22:08:00.001+08:00

2004-11-28T22:08:00.000+08:00

hmmm this few daes i have been thinking very hard... i have to face everything... hiding doesn't help... happy or not happy life still have to go on rite... so Y not stay happy till i die... next time if i am down i will try to find some ways to cheer myself up haha... hmmm juz now i was watching channel 8 de love story... so touching... the ger love him so much... done alot of things for him... juz to make him happy.. so touching... wah~~~ i know one sided love is terrible...

nothing amuse me

2004-11-25T22:57:00.001+08:00

nothing seems to interest me anymore... i felt bored for everything... time for me is not precious anymore... i dun think i can find my happiness like last time b4...... i juz gif up hope... everydae i have been seeing the same thing over and over again... backstabber... hypocrite.. loving couple... everything is jugde by its cover.... i dun wanna see them... i dun wanna know wat they do.... i juz hope my time can pass by quickly...

relaxing

2004-11-24T23:30:00.000+08:00

yesterdae me too tired to blog... so today i wrote my yesterdaes blog 1st...
hmmm... yesterdae was fun.. after work went for a boat ride wif wl's gang..... boat ride to fun sia... if i got money i wan go ride everydae... felt very relaxing there... the scenery is so~~~ beautiful... then plus wl down there singing... wah~~~ cant describe everything is juz great... the atmosphere is great....... i hope everydae after work can go out wif them... but i think it is imposible.. cos they got their own stuff to do.....

today i got a bad news... this morning woke up found tat my didi leg swollen... sad.. he cant go work wif me... nvm i went there alone... reach le help out abit then boss call me go warehouse... me and another guy went there slack whole dae... lol... eat snake eh... so relaxing there.. but we hardly talk to each other... cos hor... we r like cant communicate... got barrier...hmmm lunch i ate gin sheng chicken wif two big bowls of rice.... lol i challenging myself... cos yesterdae the uncle say i eat too little le... after eating felt bloated... kinda lazy... dun feel like walking around... lol...

sian

2004-11-22T22:38:00.000+08:00

today go to work so sian~~~ carry alot of heavy stuff.... my back aching... -_-"... then as usual the boss realli like not happy wif me... wat i do he everytime gif me tat kind of face... see liao sian 4/2... I WANT CHANGE JOB..... if i heng heng can find one job... i sure quit straight away... dun feel like seeing his face.... AH~~~~~~~

2nd dae work

2004-11-21T22:09:00.000+08:00

sunday~~~~ haha sunday shld be a good day for me..cos i can wake up very late... but today i have to wake up early... *sigh* i was dragging myself there... too tired le... then i was late for 5min... gosh.. working down there was so~~~ boring... i stand there for 10 hrs outside like an idiot... leg kinda tired~~ cos i let the senior there to have the chair to sit... hai~~~ the boss there like wan to find trouble for me like tat... customer wan buy christmas tree.. call me to go up and take.... there is so many diff kinds of tree sizes and colour... in fact diff design... somemore the goods they put where i also dunno..... -_-"... this is only my 2nd dae of work only..... i told the boss i dunno where is it... his face all turn black... then wah~~~ bo bian lor i say okok i try find... went up stairs... keep on searching but cant find... took quite long to find one... bring down le... i found tat the tree customer wanted was there le... -_-"... then boss todae very angry wif me... *sigh* guess i am gonna be fired... cos i heard rumours saying last time alot of part timers were fired... hai~~ i dun feel like working there...... sick of it.....

hard earn money

2004-11-20T22:52:00.000+08:00

wah~~ today woke up at 7.30... actually is 7 muz wake up... but hor... cant wake up... heng got didi call me... hai~~ the ppl there like looking down on me like tat... especially the supervisor... she was there testing me all sorts of 2pid things.. like... wat is this colour of the box... one pack of wraping paper got 25 pcs... how many do 4 packets have!!! i was there wah~~ wat is this.. down there quite tiring... cos maybe not enough slp ba... but then 35 bucks per dae leh... so tough~~ after work i spend 10 bucks on eating... too hungry le... see~~~ dinner 10 bucks... like tat i am like everyday earning my meal nia... hmmm my hard earn money... i have gain experience... money is so hard to earn de yet i spend money like running tap water... the goods there were much heavier then i tot... dunno wats inside... like dead bodies leh... so heavy.... i like the cycling part.... cos sometimes need to deliver stuff from one place to another by bicycle... wHOOOO so shiok... down there I know one guy treat me very good.... teach me alot of things... and taking care of me...lol ... sounds gay... but he is realli a nice guy... hai~~~ tml i need to go back to have my torture again~~ NO~~~~

haha

2004-11-20T01:49:00.000+08:00

this morning my bro phone me up~~ telling me tat the boss wan me le... i was so happy....finally the boss wan me... i wonder is it my bro help me out... cos he promise me to persuade the boss.. thanks my be loving didi....... hmmm after all this yrs... i think my family members r the ones who i can trust.... i know they loves me and cares for me.... wat we call frens outside... does'nt cares for me as much as they do....... mama u r the best... u r the one i trust most... i dare not let u know my feelings... sorry... cos shy...

2pm in the afternoon i meet up wif my gang member... we went to orchard... walk walk and watch movie... hmm have a great dae there... we watch shutter... the ger is so poor thing~~ i kinda feel sad for her... Y did her bf treat her this way.... she got rape by his buddy... yet he was there taking photos... i tot guys shld protect their love ones... juz find tat LOVE is a scary thing... it can hurt ppl alot alot alot...but if u found the right person u will find life meaningful le

sigh

2004-11-18T22:23:00.000+08:00

today i was hoping the boss will phone me.... *sigh* guess i have lost another job le.... y they all dun wan hire me... do i look dishonest?? do i look like those lazy type? hai~~~ I can choose to lie to them telling them i can work for alot of months... but i didnt... haha this is wat i call honesty... if i lied to them i might get a job.......

frens~~~ i have been searching for the right frens....haha i have only found afew.... hope they regard me as their best fren... i will cherish them de....

What r life all about??? me myself i also dunno... maybe life is all about enjoying ourself ba...

jobless

2004-11-17T23:55:00.000+08:00

AH~~~~ today woke up at 7am.. so~~~ early... get prepared and went to chinatown wif my dear didi to interview job... hmmm we reach there at 9am... too early le~~ the boss not there yet.. sian~~ nvm... i help up my didi to open the store.. after tat went to have breakfast at mac... i was there window shopping... wow... my 2nd home leh... chinatown... cos when i was young i use to live there wif my grand parent... miss them so much... well... i went back to the shop at about 11am... the boss was there... i had an interview... he ask me alot of question and telling me he will gif me ans by tml... *sigh* think no hope le...ah~~~ no money~~ after tat i went to queensway to buy clothes... haha... there was one t-shirt i find it quite unique... so i bought lor... haha... i was there loitering around... and deciding wan to buy anot... the uncle there was telling me... wah~~ u loiter for about 1hr+ le still haven decide wan to buy anot ah~~ lol... in the end i bought 2 t-shirt... one long sleeve one short sleeve... find it quite nice

back from chalet

2004-11-16T15:08:00.000+08:00

first day there
I was trying to contact junwen... asking him wat time meet there... but how hard i try.. i juz cant get him... *sigh* so i went there alone lor~~~ reach le my mama and uncle ask me where is my fren~~~ hai~~ i bluff them.. telling them tat they will come lately.. i was acting infront of them tat i was so excited and happy waiting for my fren to come... then my bro was there teasing me... *sad*~~ hai~~ down there alone was real bored~~ after watching kong fu soccer i went down to buy KFC to eat... the counter ger damn funny... keep on asking me the same question~~ u taking away or eating here!! hahaha... hmmm... after finish my dinner i got nothing to do... so decided to go explore around the area... but down there see so many ppl all have frens wif them... hurts me alot... nvm~~ so i decided to go beach to see stars... wow..I took a long distance there... quite scary walking alone in the dark... the lights there are so dim... somemore the pathway got alot of funny sound coming from no where... wow the stars there were so beautiful... can see all so clearly... felt relief there... i stayed there quite long~~ feel like flying~~ feel like touching the stars... too bad i dun have wings... after tat i went back watch tv... wanted to phone somebody to chat~~ cos realli very bored... so i decided to phone my HAO didi... wah... phone him.. he was mad at me for disturbing him.... AH~~~~ tats my Bro.... ah~~~

second dae
hmm... its mondae~~ felt excited... cos meeting wl they all to wild wild wet... wah~~~ wl and jia hui late~~~ we went to mac to have our lunch... ate quite alot... after tat i bring them to my chalet rm.... lol... we all decided to go beach walk walk... haha... wl was there complaining the distance so long... so hot... so dirty.... haha quite cute... hmm up to 2pm+ le... then we go wild wild wet have fun~~~ haha... wl hurt herself alot there... haha... see her quite poor thing... so weak sia... i had alot of fun there.... hoping the time wont past so fast... hehe 7.30 le... they r closing... so we went back bath lo... after tat when to eat the katong laksa... yucks.. the laksa is like tasteless... so er... 3 bucks... so small bowl... then the drinks there r so ex... after finish eating~~ still not feeling full leh~~ so we went to buy some more food to eat... i bought tuna hotdog... yummy~~ then weiling say wan go see stars~~ haha... so we went there lor~~ wah~~
so nice~~~ i think beach is a romantic place for couples... couples can go there chat... see stars together... sing song... wah~~~ hao romantic wor.... oh no~~~ 11pm le... late le... wl had to go~~ haha.. wl and jia hui gone le... only left jw and me... we slack there... we when to buy chocolate vodka and some tibits back.. went back rm watch channel U... haha... then after somewhile i found out tat jw had fallen aslp le.. haha... so i off tv lor... then went to slp too...

third dae
today is the third dae... we check out at 10.30.... then went to mac eat breakfast... after tat we went hm.. actually... today is suppose to go escape theme park play de... but all dun wan go... so cancel lor... went hm le... my mama call me to go amk interview jobs... wa~~~ i bath quickly then took bus to amk... down there i found out tat it was motorola company de... not the one my mama told me.... nokia.... hai~~~ wat to do... i have my lunch there... then come back home slack..

loneliness

2004-11-14T17:33:00.000+08:00

hai~~~ today suppose to be happy... cos going to chalet... but in the end i think i will be staying there alone~~~ hai~~ i think too much le~~~ always tot i will be happy... ain't chalet suppose to be alot of ppl enjoying themself there~~~ but y am i there alone~~ is this my fate? maybe i only have little fren ba~~ tats y... I DUN WAN TO BE THERE ALONE.... nvm~~ tonite i will plan my schedule... 7 pm watch kung fu soccer on channel U.... after tat go beach alone... wonder how it is like there...

*Loneliness is always looking for a friend*

playing

2004-11-12T19:08:00.000+08:00

hmmm... today woke up at 1.30pm... i hunt for food in the kitchen... only found banana cake.. haha.. ate le still hungry~~ so decided to go down stairs buy rice... i was eating while watching the channel 8 dunno wat title show... its about dinosuar... wow they r beautiful... hmmm still got so much time left for me~~ so i go play my GTA lor~~ haha i killed alot of ppl in tat game~~ including POLICE... when it is 5.30pm i stop playing and watch the channel 8 kung fu show... hmm last episode... hmm bad guys always doesn't have a happy ending... but all this is not wat they wan it to be... sometimes quite pity them.. And now i am home alone waiting for my mama and didi to come back~~

thinking

2004-11-11T23:16:00.000+08:00

what is happening to me~~~ i have been wondering... how come i felt numb for everything around me... how come i still can tolerate this kind of living life~~ felt realli tired of it~~ i dun seem to have any interest in doing anything~~ I dun think i am in the right world now~~ where is my world~~ the world which is like a paradise.. full of joy... no hatred... the place where there is full of love... the place where i have lots of frens~~ the place where there were full of holy laughter... the place where i wun feel bored....

i dun wish to wake up from my dream~~ i dun wanna spend my dae everyday feeling so lonely and bored... i dun think i have any ambition anymore~~ i dun have any aim... lost hope~~ loving couple~~ haha i dun believe in true love~~ all this is juz a rumour... cos in reality true love does'nt exists... no love still have frens rite~~~ yeah... look at all the frens i have... only 1-5 treat me as fren~~~ the rest i dun think they realli care about me... nothing is fair~~~ everything is judge by its cover... wats the point of being honest~~ wats the point of being helpful... wats the point of doing so much things for them... hahaha...

gaming~~~

2004-11-10T20:52:00.000+08:00

wah~~~ today ah woke up at 11am... tot got go simlim~~~ then wl told me cancel~~~ sad~ nvm ... so i decided to go amk walk walk~~ i went there alone.. ate chicken wrap at long john silver.. yam yam~~ addicted to chicken wrap le~~ siao liao... after tat i when to buy my Games... haha bought 3 games~~ burnout 3, Smackdown vs Raw and GTA... hmm finally have this games le... waited so long~~ everytime went out so late dun have the time to buy them... haha ... YEAH~~ can play wif my didi de~~ reach home le felt slpy... so take a nap lor~~ cos alot of free time ma~~ haha.. woke up at 7pm.. felt hungry~~ called dad... ask him whether got buy my food anot... he ask me buy myself~~ ARG~~ nvm.. i went down stairs to buy mee goreng.. taste gd... now its time to enjoy myself~~ watch 9pm channel 8 show... after tat 10 watch jurassic park 3 at channel 5... after tat is my time to play wif my ke lian de didi... he work wor~~ 1st time see him know how to think haha... come back le keep on suaning me~~ say i so lazy~~ dun wan work~ ARG... no lor~~ is i cant find any job.... later gonna vs him one on one in gaming~~ haha

Why Why Why

2004-11-09T23:38:00.000+08:00

hai~~~ today quite happy.. go science centre gain alot of knowledge.. have fun there.. but things turn out bad~~ cos wl's camera lost~~ i also dunno how did it lost..

after tat we went to PS to walk walk... saw alot of loving couple there.. *sigh* ... how come i lost her.. she and i was once a loving couple too.. we have alreadi broke off for 6 month plus le.. how come she is reappearing in my mind again.. WHY must she leave me~~ wat have i done wrong~~ we promiss each other no matter wat we have to face it together~~ WHY does she back off.. does true love realli exists.. WHY cant we endure everything together~~ when i am bored , sad , happy... she was always there for me~~ she giv me hope.. i got alot of trust in her... i got alot of future plan wif her.... all had been shattered... i still keep all the things she gave me~~ didnt throw anything away~~ i dun mind giving her everything she wants... i dun mind shorten my life just to make our relationship last longer... i dun wan to be alone... cant she SEE.. WHY does everything turn out to be a nitemare for me.. WHY WHY WHY... i got alot of question.. WHY cant i even be her fren~~ i realli miss the dae we use to call each other everynite... Life is realli meaningless without LOVE.... :'(.... i hate myself for cant gif her the happiness she wants..................

doll master

2004-11-08T23:59:00.000+08:00

wow today i woke up at 11am.. kinda tired~~ feel like slping some more.. but scared tat i will be late.. cos today i will be going to science centre.. when i hav reach there.. wow i found myself the first person there waiting~~ they all LATE.. after all hav reach.. we went to eat chicken rice~~ yam~ nice.. we took train to jurong east.. then transfer bus to science center.. gosh~~ they r close.. sad~ so we when to catch a movie in suntec~~ haha doll master.. kinda scary..haha
after tat we go for a walk.. wow we went to one place dunno call wat~~ the atmosphere and the scenery there is so nice and beautiful.. we slack there chit chat.. haha have a great time there

weak

2004-11-07T01:03:00.000+08:00

well today i woke up at 11am.. still feeling slpy.. *yawnzZ*... wake up le i went to play maplestory.. thanks gee leong for plvling me~~ hehe... played until 12.30 then i quickly rush to bath.. and get prepared to go for my CCA.. when i was there i was late haha... heng i was late~~ cos my fren also late~~ heng nv go there early hahahaha.. well~~ the training is so tough for me~~ i cant endure.. feeling weak there... cos saw all my mates there all suddenly all so big size le~~~scary sia~~ few weeks nv go there only suddenly they so FIT.. down there train until almost fainted.. maybe is becos i ate not enough at home ba~~ my mama cook 3 pieces of fish and chip for me only.. nvm.. after my CCA i went to amk wif my fren to have dinner.. hmmm long john's chicken wrap was nice~~ reach home felt so weak~~ whole body weak weak de~~ then i told my bro about it~~ and thank him for taking this opportunity to torture me~~~ he was there torturing me happily -_-" .... he was heng i dun have the strenght to counter~~ hmm maybe tml i will pay back haha..

tml i will be going to church.. so excited~~ long tme nv go church le~~ wonder inside can see my long lost church member anot...

depress

2004-11-06T01:37:00.000+08:00

Today I when for an interview with my secondary sch fren~~ I went there early.. afraid tat I am late... but I was wrong~ I reach there early... but he was late for 45min.. this prove that I cant be punctual.. *sigh*..while I was waiting I saw a lot of ppl r applying for the job too... then I saw one auntie filling a form which I think is kinda weird... her form got IQ test.. I found out tat only auntie uncle will have tat kind of form... sad~~ they bias sia~~ gers interview they treat them so gd... guy leh.. like shit.. he finally arrived but i was shock~~ he brought 4 of his fren also~~ wow tat was scary~~ all his fren look like pai kia... anyway I intro myself to them.. they r quite frenly... we r joking here and there... quite fun..after filling the form.. we went for lunch.. after tat we r down there thinking where to go~~ haha… say hao le wan go ktv.. play lan... play pool... in the end all decide to go home haha… after I have reach home I feel tired felt depress ~~ dunno y
*I hope I am there for ya… I hope I am important to ya... I hope I have the ability to make u happy and smile when u r sad… all this are just my dream..*

My new blog

2004-11-04T22:46:00.000+08:00

Yeah~~ finally completed my new blog~~ well today i had spend the whole afternoon creating this.. cant believe it right~ whole thing look so simple... too bad my knowledge is limited so need alot of time to complete kaka.. *sigh* today the employer didnt phone me~~ guess they dont need me ba~~ AH~~~ ....nvm tomorrow i will be meeting my fren to go for another interview~~ hope they will hire me~~ Motorola~~~ here i come... have to apologise to my bro for not letting him to play for de whole afternoon... hehehe... cos u know.. blogging~~ but tml he can play till siao~~ cos i will not be at home... hai~~~ tuesday zoo had let me think of her again... i remember we had been there b4 also... it was so fun down there... i know somethings had to let go... what is mine is mine... hoping to find the right star~~

HaLF DEaD

2004-10-11T21:43:00.000+08:00

this morning when i woke up my throat fill so dry~~~ yesterdae next actually wanted to study de... but after swimming i feel so tired~~~ reach home le dun have the mood.... Well today when i went to sch... i was there studying my 1106... gosh~~~ i scored 8/12 .... so sad.... i have learn b4 yet i didnt scored well.... but nvm at lease i have learn my mistake.... today feel so happy...maybe is becos my classmates all so happy ba... so a person's mood can affect the others de... beware... during math lesson i was there feeling so weak and tired.... didnt listen to dickson's lecturing.... now feel abit regret.... cos is like now i totally dun understand... then see my classmates all so hardworking.... stress me up sia... after lesson i went home straight.... slp for about 4 hrs.... wake up le more worse.... -_- hope i can get well soon... i need to brush up on my studies... too weak le i think....

oh my god!!!!

2004-10-08T21:28:00.000+08:00

I think i am broken down again~~~today i juz cant study at all..... my brain is so empty... totally shut off.... i am sorry today i cant help my fren much~~~~ my mind is really very empty~~~ cant think of any coding... dunno y suddenly dun feel like studying~~ today i get back my math test paper~~~ although i fail but i didnt feel anything... not sad nor worried for my result~~suddenly feeling so left out again~~~ i guess cos everyone think tat i am tat ZHuAi(arrogant) person~~~ hai~~ perhaps they dun understand me well... anyway i know myself can le~~~ i wun bother wat ppl think of me... up to now only the stars in the sky always keep me company~~~ Y CanT I FIND A FreN To ComPanY Me......... AnGeL y CaNt U ApPeAr Infront of me..... can u send someone to pei me chat~~~

Forgive And Forget~

2004-10-06T22:47:00.000+08:00

Today morning i went for the html remedial~~~kinda happy.... cos learn new thing~~ this teach me tat i cant think tat even i high marks will know everything... i got lot more to learn~~ i cant be proud... cos there is always somebody who is even more cleverer then u.... i have think carefully le~~~ i must forgive everybody~~ he who hurt me... he who betray me...cos i know everything has its cycle....ppl might hurt me... but they might get back in return... sometimes must learn to let go.... i cant have hatred wif me.... i am in this world to love not to hate... i must be cheerful.... must bring happiness to ppl around me... i will feel happy helping around.... i dun wish for a return.... juz a smile will do~~~~ :) ... i have done many silly things in my past le... now is a time for me to amend....

cant overcome my fear~

2004-10-05T21:39:00.000+08:00

Today i am kinda relief... cos hor i have finish my jap role play and comm skill presentation le... yeah~~~hmmm jap role play i was scared... cause all my classmate all can say so fluent.. pressure me sia... quite alrite la... when actual performing i was so nervous until i have forgotten my script..so i was stun there for about 30 sec... then carry on.. phew~~ teacher say i was very nervous but i de quite alrite...heng i can manage to read all out... after jap i found tat i was going to be late for comm skill lesson le... cos comm skill starts at 2... but i dismiss at 2.12.. so i ran all the way from block S to block L... luckily i found that all my classmate r outside the class haha...phew~~~ the problem is y i still so shy~~~ i hate this man... maybe is becos too many gers there le... ya... i twist tongue alot in the comm skill presentation.... i was so nervous... my heart beat r pumping very fast....but i am so happy so many of them gif me alot of courage.... hehe.... and now after my html assignment 2.. i am free~~~ hahaha must gif myself a break for one dae.... must play like mad dog kakaka

new person

2004-10-03T18:39:00.000+08:00

hmmm from now on i will not think of the negative side le... life have to go on.. cant be like tat 4ever... i will not think of the past le... have to see things ahead of me... although in this world there are lots of cunning ppl... but this is the reality... i have to face it... i will juz be like a mirror.. how u treat me.. u will get back in return... i have lost alot of frens~~~ and now i will get them back... i wont be lonely anymore.....i will have lots of fren in the future... and i will achieve it... he who didnt treat me as a fren then too bad... u have choosen to be like tat... but now i have one big problem which is shyness.... i will overcome it also... trust me... because in order to be a police... if i am shy i cant accomplish big task.... and shyness will ruin my life.... i cant let this thing goes on.... every single dae is a dae for me to improve myself.....but i need ppl to tell me the mistake which i have to improve on.... the old junhao has been killed by me... the new junhao has been created....

holy dream~~

2004-10-02T21:10:00.000+08:00

Yesterdae nite i had a dream~~~ I dream of myself in a church... singing happily and chatting wif my fren happily... it seems to be celebrating something... It was very fun there.... lots of frens and food r there...i was so happy down there...wow... till i woke up... everything started to change le... reality in fact is not a place for me..... i found myself alone at home again... sigh~ wanted to go out.... but there seems no fren to call.... nvm so i decided to go alone.... i went to pasir ris beach to relief myself.... the scenery there is very nice~~~ too bad i was alone there~~ well i saw alot of sweet couples and family member there~~~ really envy them... see them all so happy... then look at myself hai~~ how i wonder i can be like them.... i was there sitting on the rock looking at the scene there.... i found tat on the rock there were lots of ppl writing their feelings on it... i read some of them... some they wrote they love each other~~ hai~~ so touching... some they wrote some message tat is sad.... i stay there for the whole afternoon.... thinking back~~~i realli miss the old daeS~~~

ahhhhhhhhhhhh~~~~

2004-10-02T01:35:00.000+08:00

today ah..... as usual so boring in sch~~~ slack alot le..... yesterdae didnt studied for java.... cos over slept........hai~~~ anyway no mood to study all tat... early morning wake up dun feel like going to sch... go sch also sian~~~ have to study... always being left out....i hope now i can have the poly cert~~~ then i can work quickly.... ya.... in the afternoon i have java test~~~ didnt do quite well... perhaps not gd in it ba... after sch when to watch resident evil... quite nice the movie.. but the story line is like similar to the game.... after tat went to play cs in lan shop... quite alrite~~~ dun have the mood...

NumB

2004-09-30T20:00:00.000+08:00

Today~~ 1193 presentation i think i am gonna fail~~ hai~~~ i know teacher have a very bad impression on me now~~ but who cares~~~ she didnt even know how much time i put in lor... as i say nothing is fair de~~ hai~~ this world is so sickening....... i will forgive a person....... but tat does not mean i will always forgive.... once my enemy always is one... i know love can overcome all this~~~ but too bad i am not gd enough... only can secretly admire........well~~ today html test is quite easy... think can score full marks~~~ hope so... today after sch went to project rm study wif my classmate~~ which i can consider only fren le in sch..... fun to be wif them.... i am feeling so numb..... cant feel any sadness or happiness le... there r many things not going my way lately... frens can even betray each other for their benefit.... y must i know the fact.... y must i know the reality......

NoThInG Is FAIR

2004-09-29T19:13:00.000+08:00

Today so suay... go sch let ppl scold..kao~ wat have i done wrong.. group work they all discuss nv call me expect i know everything.. the main menu i have spend 1 and a half day to do lor... didnt appreciate it still got scolding...hai~~~I have ask them long time ago to send me the project thing till now still didnt receive any... ask them properly wat to do if i didnt produce wat they one... gif me tat kind of attitude.. fine la... i blur... stupid..everything is my fault k. hey look if u dun trust my ability its fine wif me.. not i lazy or wat... is u dun trust me... then at my back saying i am lazy all tat... I HATE GROUP work........ everything is not fair.... teacher rather believe them but not me...... y must we have group work... cant we do it individually.. y must fren become like tat cos of project all r like enemies... i always tot tat loving one another will get back in return... helping and caring them will get back in return.... it is totally not true..in reality it is cruel and selffish... Y when i am down no one console me... why when i need help no one gif me a hand.... y cant this world be like heaven do... no worries... no need study... no need fight for money...no need compete with one another... got alot of freedom....... living here is so bored...

NoT a Gd DaY FoR mE

2004-09-28T19:48:00.000+08:00

This morning when i woke up feeling so weak and tired.... yesterdae i had chiong my jap and comm skill presentation thing till 3+... so tired... eyes r so pain...then when i went sch le... all my classmates was looking at me weirdly...as if i got something wrong...sigh... feel tat they all r suaning me....then during the 1106 lecture i was there memorizing jap~~ damn... can't enter my mind... i was so stress up... feel like going home straight... cause i am not feeling quite well...hai~~ during the jap test i was there so blur wif the question... sigh.. all i dunno de... die le... then when teacher see my paper she was there saying "Next time i must buy a cane to punish those failer".. gosh... i dun wan to repeat module again..after jap was comm skill presentation.. i was so nervous.. juz afraid i cant present well.. somemore my slides i didnt put in effort in it... then today see my classmate all so formal... all look great man ... guys r smart and gers r chio haha..after tat photo taking session lol... after tat i when home with glenn... suddenly i forgotten i have promiss estrella to stay back after sch to teach her javascript..gosh... see my hp.. oh no.. 1 miss call.. then i quickly call back.. but she seems to turn of her hp le... die le... i think she is mad at me.. feel so sorry.... i know sometimes sorry couldnt cure... but i realli didnt mean it

hai~~

2004-09-26T22:06:00.000+08:00

yeterdae didnt blog becos i am very busy rushing for my 1193 project........ i finally know how to use photoshop le.... today as usual rushing for my 1193... i realli wanted to share my feelings with somebody....... but all seems to be busy with their stuff....... i am realli very stress up wif my work..... wanted to find someone to chat.... but hai~~~ y cant i have a fren tat can company me chat..company me go out... company me play... is it realli very hard..... i dun need lots of fren.... juz need one will do... only gif me one.... angel if u r real can u appear infront of me.... can i chat wif u... can i company u 4ever...i realli need u...i wan to share my feelings wif u... i dun wan to be lonely... hai~~ I got alot of question.... i got alots of why.. but i dare not ask.... afraid they find me irritating.... dear angel pls bring me to ur world of paradise... hai~~

New Police Story

2004-09-24T23:10:00.000+08:00

this morning is totally so boring.... dunno y i dun have the mood... maybe is yesterdae de thing ba... I will get moody easily by ppl who i care and love... they r the ones tat can cause me to change mood.... others wont affect much on me...hmm.... during break time i went to the library alone.... self study...quite boring...but go there dun have the mood to study.. so.. i take a nap there hehe... lazy nowadaes...during java lesson my mood started to change back le.... maybe is becos i saw them so happy ba... yesterdae their expression was like ..... oh gosh... i think i have just spoiled their mood.... hmmm after sch gee leong,jun wen,collin,jia fai and i when to watch new police story.... the story quite nice... funny tot... and quite romantic... recommended to watch..... must support police k hehehe.... sad to say jun wen they all make fun of me after the show....... arggg...

hai~~ wat i have done

2004-09-23T22:46:00.000+08:00

hai~~ perhaps i should not be here...i have cos so much trouble...hai~~ next time i hope i anything also dunno... hope i realli dunno anything...... knowing too much is not gd de.....hai~~~ today during 1193 last lesson my project group and i book a rm.... sad to say... they say until like i have cause alot of trouble to them...... :( ... well maybe i am sensitive ba.... sometimes realli wanted to share my feelings to someone.........but who will wan to hear it........ i guess nobody ba...always keep my feelings to myself is very tiring de.... i dun wan it to be like tat......somemore liking someone is very hard......its like knowing u got feeling for her.... but keep on telling myself not to think too much.... jus think tat i dun suit her... perhaps i am fated to be lonely ba..... i also think tat i will have difficulty finding friends too ..... can an angel enlighten me....... can i meet u in my dreams tonite.... pls~~~